Attempting to avoid a fight extended court? The Center for Mediation in Pittsford, New York, brokers ready to serve. They play a variety of civil cases, including divorce and custody issues. Save your services contending parties often spend hours and hours and thousands of dollars to go to court. Schedule a consultation to see if mediation is right for you. Visit our website www.yellowpages.com

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cjamiesonlaw.com Board certified Marital and Family Law Attorney Charles D. Jamieson explains what mediation is and why it’s important in a divorce case. He also explains what to look for in a mediator.

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In the United States litigation is the conduct of a law suit. Any trial process is preceded by the jury selection process. The plaintiff seeks a remedy and the defendant has to respond to the summons/complaint. Besides the option of going for litigation there are also alternative methods for resolution of disputes that include mediation, arbitration and different modes of negotiations.

Before the trial begins in litigation the juries from both the sides have to be selected. It is the counsel members who have to select the jury members by questioning them and knowing about their background. Either side has the right to object to the competency of a particular jury member. The final acceptance or rejection of a member is decided by the court.

Trial starts with the plaintiff addressing the jury with an opening statement that includes introduction of the evidence, witnesses etc. The burden of proof always lies with the plaintiff. During this process the jury is presented with all evidences, testimony, pictures, records, proofs etc. The plaintiff’s direct witness can be cross examined by the defendant. It is the skill of the defendant’s lawyer to be able to challenge the accuracy of a witness. Once completed, it is the defendant’s chance to present the case in the above manner with all the evidences etc. After the defendant rests its case it is followed by closing arguments and summary from both sides.

The jury gets instructions about the law and applicable rules and briefs them on their duty before they reach a verdict. While in the federal courts verdict has to be unanimous, in the state courts, a majority can reach a verdict. The total number of jury is usually 12 or even lesser. The post trial options available for the loosing party include different post trial activities like,

Requesting for reduction of damages

Motion against the verdict of jury

Appeal to the State or US Supreme Court

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Believe it or not, the hardest part about mediation is getting the parties to come to the table! Once parties to a dispute agree to come to mediation, they are able to find agreement in a very high percentage of cases – at least 50% of the time in the most difficult cases and up to 95% in the easiest types of cases. On average, you can expect your chances to be about 72% for reaching an agreement you are satisfied with. Below we have listed some of the many reasons to try mediation.

Need More Reasons? Check Out These:

Mediation Works

As indicated above, you can expect mediation to work about 72% of the time. Those are winning odds. If you were investing in the stock market, deciding whom to marry, gambling in Las Vegas, deciding whether to ask for a raise or making just about any important decision, 72% winning odds would make most smart people jump at the chance.

Mediation is Low Risk

Mediation is extremely low risk. Parties who come to mediation usually only risk losing the time and money (if any) thats involved in mediation. In absolute terms and when compared to the risks of not going to mediation, these costs are extremely low. Consider what can happen when courts are involved: The decision is taken out of your hands and given to someone else who can decide your fate. When the police are involved you might go to jail! When a homeowners association is involved, it can cost you money and reputation.

Mediation is the Right Thing to Do

Be the “bigger person” and the nice guy, by sitting down to resolve the dispute. All around the world people are involved in conflicts that have gotten out of control. We see this locally in our own families and communities all the time. Disagreements sometimes start out small; people ignore them and hope they will go away; then they escalate out of control causing financial, relationship and, in the worst cases, even physical harm. And unresolved conflicts almost always increase stress and cause continuing psychological harm or discomfort for those involved and frequently for those whose loved ones are involved.

Mediation Can Make Relationships Better

Which is better: A positive relationship or a negative relatiohship? People are hard pressed to identify any positive benefits from a negative relationship! Yet many people are willing to tolerate negative relationships when they don’t have to. Just as you have to build positive relationships, negative relationships can be improved too. Having a negative relationship with a neighbor, ex-spouse, business associate, family member, etc., can cause stress, reduce personal levels of happiness and life satisfaction and result in increased levels of the “hard stuff” we all have to deal with – but don’t want to! Many people say “Well I don’t want to have a positive relationship with that so and so!” But that often misses the point: Bad relationships cause problems. We hear all the time how bad relationships between ex-spouses causes problems for the children; or how bad relationships between neighbors causes problems with the homeowners association or other neighbors; or how a bad relationship with a customer or client or vendor causes problems with other clients, or customers or vendors.

Avoid Escalation Effects

Sometimes one person in a dispute has “the problem” and the other person doesn’t really have a problem so they don’t want to come in to mediation. But the unstated assumption that is often being made is that all of the negative effects of the situation will only affect the person with “the problem.” Unfortunately, this is frequently not true. The problem may escalate when the person who wants the problem resolved takes it to ever widening circles of people – the courts, the police, the neighbors, other family members, the boss, the homeowners association, etc. Mediation may well help the parties avoid unintended, unnecessary and unpleasant side effects of an escalating conflict.

What Have You Got to Lose?

In mediation, you just sit down with the mediator(s) and the other party and see if things can be worked out. About 72% of the time they can be. Since you don’t have to agree to anything going in, you’ve got nothing to lose, you can find out more information and you have a good shot at just making everything go away.

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If you are reading this, then you are probably either thinking of filing for divorce — or have a feeling that your spouse may be filing for divorce — whether you want to separate or not.

One of the common questions that an individual going through the divorce process asks is “What is a Divorce Mediation?”

Mediation is a process which allows both you and your spouse to maintain control over your destiny and the terms of your divorce settlement. Both parties and attorneys attend either a four-hour or eight-hour mediation, depending on the complexity of your case.

Is the Mediator a Lawyer?

Although some mediators are social workers, most commonly the mediator is a lawyer who acts as a neutral person to help you settle your case.

How is the Mediator Chosen?

The mediator is chosen and agreed upon by the attorneys. Every Family Law attorney has a “short list” of competent mediators who specialize in family law with whom we are familiar, whose style we are comfortable with, and who we have found to be effective, particularly considering the individual aspects of your specific case.

What is the Role of the Mediator?

The role of the mediator is to facilitate an agreement between the parties to prevent the necessity for a trial.

Can What I Say Be Used Against Me Later?

Everything said during mediation is confidential. The mediator cannot be made to testify in court if a settlement is not reached. The mediator will only report one of two things: “settlement”: or “no settlement”.

Further, you and your attorney will advise the mediator what you do or do not want shared with your spouse and your spouse’s attorney!

How Does This Work Exactly?

Procedurally, you and your attorney will remain in one room, while your spouse and his or her attorney stays in a separate room. The mediator travels from room to room conveying each side’s offer and/or counteroffer.

Sometimes, the parties mediate by all being in the same room together. This is common if your mediation is taking place at a county dispute resolution center.

Law Office of Marilyn Gale Vilyus

Attorney/ Mediator

16151 Cairnway Drive Ste. 210

Houston, TX 77084

281-550-6650

http://www.westhoustonattorney.com

Not certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization.

This article is designed for general information only. This information is not intended to be legal advice. Consult an attorney for before making any legal decisions based on your individual circumstances.

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We specialize in Couples Mediation including blended families and school bullying. Free 30 minute consultation. Discover for yourself what is different between Mediation and Counseling. Please enjoy our ode to new singing sensations Adam Lambert and Tess Lerner.

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Host Al Frankel interviews child and family therapist/divorce mediator Dr. Ken Neumann on the topic of “children caught in the middle” (of divorce). He also briefly addresses the issue as to whether divorce mediation is ever appropriate in a domestic violence situation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cELVEQh600&hl=en

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Sometimes a little bit of humor can help us put things in perspective and relieve a little bit of tension in a given situation. Mediation is a great tool to resolve divorce issues, but it doesn’t work in every situation, especially in a situation where the parties are set on a particular outcome.

With that in mind, I offer you a list of 10 signs why mediation may not work in your divorce. While some of these 10 signs may seem silly, they all contain a grain of truth which can make mediation a useless pursuit for the parties. They can reflect a particular state of mind that is not really conducive to negotiating and reaching a divorce settlement agreement.

I use the second-person singular pronoun, “you” for the purpose of clarity. But “you” can be your spouse, not necessarily you. These are not in any particular order, although the first one is very real.

1. You want to win-no matter what the cost may be. This can be a financial as well as an emotional cost.

2. You and your spouse can’t agree on what day it is, much less sit down to talk civilly with each other.

3. When you ask each other a question, the answer is “talk to my lawyer.”

4. You think mediation is for pansies and weak-willed people. Examples of famous people who easily dispel this fantasy, and who engaged in mediation or negotiation, include Madonna (in her recent divorce), and baseball player Alex Rodriguez.

5. You think negotiating is a sign of weakness.

6. You think there is only one solution to a problem.

7. You think “My Way” is a lifestyle and not just one of Frank Sinatra’s signature songs.

8. You think “The War of the Roses” is a fictional movie. It is a fictional account until you remember a particularly horrific news item in your local newspaper.

9. You’d much rather subsidize your lawyer’s country club fees than split any assets with your spouse.

10. You’re stuck in the past. Your focal point is not the present or future, with a view to finding solutions.

If none of the above are present in your divorce, or are not really pronounced, then perhaps mediation may be an available alternative to a contested divorce. For information on mediation, get a copy of Your Divorce: Take Control of the Outcome a free guide.

© Vivian Rodriguez

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Many lawyers have represented parties in mediation. However, surprisingly few are really good at it. The most common reason is that many lawyers approach mediation just as they approach litigation: They view themselves as there to prove a point, to never give an inch, and somehow to “win” the mediation. Many lawyers compound these preconceptions by being poor listeners and lacking creativity in formulating settlements.  

Mediation is different from litigation: A “win” in mediation is not beating the other side; it is achieving the best possible settlement for the client. The mediator is not present to decide anything. The process of mediation, just like any negotiation, inherently involves give and take, and a settlement is not going to be possible if one side seeks only “take” without any “give.”  

That is not to say that an advocate in mediation should not forcefully represent the client’s position. On the contrary, particularly in the opening session, a lawyer in mediation should stress all of the strong points of the client’s position and the weak points of the opponent’s position. This should be done, however, in the context of understanding that the goal is reaching a settlement.  

As an advocate in mediation, it is often appropriate to acknowledge what cannot be denied. For example, a lawyer may be representing a manufacturer in a product liability suit in which the plaintiff has been severely injured. The manufacturer’s position may be based on simple causation: The real cause of the accident was the other driver’s reckless conduct, not any defect in the manufacturer’s product. Of course, these points should be made.  

However, it may well be appropriate to acknowledge with sincerity that the plaintiff was severely injured and to express regret that the accident happened, although not due to the fault of the manufacturer. Such an acknowledgment in no way undermines the manufacturer’s position, but it is a humane and thoughtful gesture that may also assist in resolving the case.  

Because mediation is confidential, there will likely be a time – often during a caucus – in which the candid bottom line evaluation of the case should be discussed. Such a discussion is often the final step toward getting into a settlement range that will resolve the case.  

Mediation advocates should be creative. In business cases in particular, there may be a “win/win” outcome that is possible. Obviously, such solutions are among the easiest for a mediator to “sell” to the other side. Good mediators may also suggest creative solutions that have not been previously considered. Mediation advocates need to be open to such approaches.  

Lawyers acting as advocates in mediation should make sure their clients know the purpose of mediation before it begins. Clients should know that the goal is to reach an acceptable settlement and that the lawyer’s job is to try to help broker the best possible settlement, and that the approach in mediation will be different than the approach at trial if the case does not settle.  

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San Diego divorce lawyers, Michele Lowenstein and Elizabeth Brown, answer how infidelity affects a divorce under California law. They explain what it means for your divorce that California is a no-fault divorce state and review the situations regarding extramarital affairs where reimbursement of community monies may be sought and possibly obtained. For information on the different types of divorce, such as litigation, mediation, and negotiation, etc., please visit www.lowensteinfamilylaw.com Michele Sacks Lowenstein is a Certified Family Law Specialist based in San Diego. She’s a partner in Lowenstein Brown, a professional family law corporation, and has attained numerous honors, including being named a TOP San Diego lawyer in 2005, 2006, 2008, and 2009 by the San Diego Daily Transcript, recognition as an AV® rated attorney by Martindale-Hubbell, and has been repeatedly selected as a Super Lawyer. She has been practicing family law in San Diego for over 28 years. For more information about Michele Sacks Lowenstein’s experience, achievements, and qualifications, please visit www.lowensteinfamilylaw.com Elizabeth Brown, attorney, specializes in family law as a partner in the Lowenstein Brown law firm. She has served as President of the Public Interest Law Foundation and volunteered in the Peace Corps as an advocate for youth. In addition to her successful representation of clients in traditional court, Elizabeth Brown also excels using alternative dispute resolution models …

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